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School age kid goes first to one parent and then to another with same question.
If your child is first going to you for permission to do something or get something and does not get the answer he or she wants, then goes to your significant other in order to get a different answer. Your child has learned the age old "manipulation game" playing one parent against the other. Children do this in order to get the answer they want. It works in most cases because the difference in answers causes stress between the parents and they cannot focus on what the child is doing. It is important for parents to talk over permissions and things their children ask for so a "united front" can be offered to the child. This will greatly lessen the chances for the manipulation behavior become embedded in your child, and promote harmony in the family. Remember nothing works over night, it will take longer to get things changed than it did to get them created.
Toddler reaches several times for something it is not to reach for.
One of the first things a child learns from mom and dad is how many nos' it takes to get a yes. Consistancy is a very important thing for you to practice and for your child to learn. It will save you many disapointing times as your children grow. An example is; If your toddler reaches several times for something you have told her/him not to reach for, they are not testing you, they are simply looking for consistancy in their world. After the third time of telling them no, you should go to them, tell them no, and give them something else to play with. If you say no a couple of times and then allow it, they learn not to believe you and you will get the same treatment from them in most situations as they grow. If you have ever experienced a teeager asking for the same thing over and over you know what I'm talking about. Remember, there are exceptions to every rule, and the same things do not work for every person. Most importantly, if what you try doesn't have the proper outcome, try something else, never give up, our kids are worth the effort.
Here is a couple, however, as you read, I am organizing more.